Back in March, when (for us) all of this Covid-19 business began, I had had great intentions of journaling about the experience. But months have gone by without a single stroke of a letter in said journal…until now. Except it is in digital format. And it’s open for all to see.

I just can’t keep my mouth shut any longer.

I have sat back, listened, watched. I was right there with you when schools were shut down, right in the middle of the biggest month in retail and I was working around the clock from home on my online business. Up at 4 AM and working until I couldn’t any longer. I was suddenly trying to figure out how to school my children in this emergency format while still trying to make a living and keep a home…and my sanity.

I was angry. I was frustrated. I hated that my kids were left in a lurch. I hated all the apps and platforms, the miscommunication, the attendance taking. All going on right in the middle of my workday.

It was a big mess. For everyone.

And while things did seem to smooth out a bit toward the end, I knew then and there in my heart that we just couldn’t go through this again.

I am also a realist. While I would have loved to imagine our world going “back to normal” as we once knew it, I am logical enough that I could admit and eventually accept that things are not going to be that way.

For a long time.

If ever.

While I wanted to imagine my kids heading back to school and getting out of my hair come September, kicking back on my couch watching Dr. Phil in peace, my realistic brain said…Nope. Ain’t gonna happen. No matter how much or how hard I wish for it.

Why?

Because the world does not revolve around me.

Or my kids.

Or our inconveniences.

Or wishes.

It just doesn’t.

So I made a decision. One that I had formerly said, “Nope. Never gonna do it. Not for me. Not us. Hard no.”

Homeschool.

Saying that word almost feels like speaking a foreign language to me. It’s something that is so far from what I had ever in a million years imagined would be part of our reality.

I am not a teacher.

I am not blessed with an abundance of patience.

I can’t even do elementary math.

But you know what?

You know what I am?

I’m the mother of my children.

Me.

And there is nobody else on this planet who knows my kids as well as I do. I knew them for months before anyone else. I carried them. I was given the most incredible gift by our most loving and gracious Father.

And because I am that person, there is nobody more qualified than me to teach them. Especially in a time like this.

In these uncertain times, I can offer a measure of consistency and predictability to my children.

The school can’t.

The government can’t.

The world can’t.

I knew what was coming.

I could see it and I know you could see it too.

We knew, come August, there was a very real possibility that kids would not be returning to school. Or, if they did, we knew too that there was the very real possibility that they may have to do emergency distance learning once again.

I just couldn’t go through that again. I couldn’t watch my kids being ping pong-ed back and forth.

The writing was on the wall. I chose to see that writing and I made a plan.

So I have had months to come to term with my decision.

Did I love the idea of homeschooling?

Nope. Seriously, not at all.

Did I feel qualified?

No.

Confident?

Sha’. Right.

But to have the control over what would happen this fall was enough to make me come to terms with the decision.

And for my kids to come to terms with it.

I think that is the important thing. They have had months to come to terms with the fact that they will not be returning to the school building for this year.

And guess what?

They are okay.

I am okay.

We’ve had time to process and talk about it, research, plan. Thankfully there are loads of resources available to us out there and we don’t have to do this alone.

And while for many of you, our school’s decision to start off with distance learning straight off the bat is a painful blow, please. Take a moment. I know this is stressful. I know it feels and seems impossible to make a living and provide a learning environment for your kids.

But you can do it.

While I feel deeply for the single parents, the families with out-of-the-home full time jobs, the kids who are in bad living situations or struggling with disabilities, and those who just really REALLY wanted their kids back in that building…getting angry won’t solve anything.

It won’t bring peace to the anxiety your kids are feeling.

How you react will be how they react.

Instead, we need to be examples of resilience.

We can take this crappy situation and use it as an opportunity to display courage and strength and kindness and the sheer ability to overcome.

Our attitude is their attitude.

Angry at teachers, school board members, etc?

Our kids will be angry too.

No respect for these said individuals?

The kids will foster that same lack of respect.

Mad and indignant?

Yep, they will feel those too. Probably worse if they’ve got hormones screwing with everything at the same time.

It’s okay to be upset, angry, sad, all the feelings.

It is not okay to model behaviors of disrespect and lashing out when something happens that you don’t agree with.

We need to do better. As adults. As parents. As examples to our youth.

Our kids will be okay.

Missing out on a year inside of a school building will not be the undoing of your child.

Children are resilient.

We need to give them more credit.

A recent letter to the editor cited a study that regards the in-school learning experience as a “life-defining” one, eluding to impending doom should the children not be allowed into the building immediately.

While I don’t disagree that social interaction and attending school is important, I DO vehemently disagree that missing out on in-school education for a period of time is going to vastly alter the life of any child as a whole.

What does this say abut the thousands of children that are homeschooled every year? Who have graduated a homeschool program and gone on to college and to success of all sorts of degrees?

What does this say about the billions of people who lived before us, long before the public education system was established?

To the incredible minds and artists and musicians and everyday people who lived happy, enriched, fulfilled lives?

Is our modern educational system truly the secret to a functional, successful human in this world? Are/were all of these people less than those of us who had the privilege of attending in-house school for the duration of our educational years?

Now, I’m not trying to minimize the fact that this decision is going to affect many, many people. To the point of financial distress, emotional and mental anguish, and other things. Other terrible things. There is no doubt.

This is a tough situation for any parent, regardless of your situation.

Our world has been rocked. Each and every one of us have been affected. There is no dispute there.

But we are resilient people. And so are our children.

We can do this.

We have mountains of resources and support online- more than any other time in history. We have so much more available to us than anyone before us.

Being angry and taking to being a keyboard warrior against your fellow community members and neighbors will not make this situation go away.

Deciding that your child is doomed because the school has closed its doors will not make a bad situation any better.

Giving in to the lie that your child is going to fall drastically behind in his education will not propel him forward in resilience.

Whether we agree with decisions or even believe that what is happening here and around the world is real or not- we are in it. All of us. Up to our neck it feels at times.

I get it.

But we all need to take a deep breath.

If not for ourselves, then for our kids.

Let’s offer them some stability even though we may feel that our own feet are on uneven ground.

Let’s be an example of calm.

Be a shelter for your children.

Fake it, if you have to.

But be that voice of reason and comfort. Be the one that tells them, “We will be okay. We will all be okay.”

Show love to your neighbor, even if he is one who supported an idea that was in opposition to yours.

He has to sleep at night too.

Knowing there are people behind a screen cursing his name.

He has to carry that anxiety to bed with him.

We don’t need to have a hand in that.

None of us have the right to do that to another fellow human being.

This may not be what we had planned.

What we had envisioned or hoped.

It certainly isn’t what I had planned.

But the peace that is found in accepting that which is outside of our control is bountiful.

Try it.

Be the person we all expect our children to become.